Way back in the misty days of 2000, Miguel Sanchez allegedly stabbed someone in Los Angeles. A lot. Like a lot a lot. "Multiple stab wounds" is how they say it. Usually means it's not just a couple pinpricks with a darning needle. Then he allegedly stabbed somebody else, presumably not as many times as he stabbed the first person but enough times that it was kind of an issue. I mean, really, it doesn't take much in the way of stabbing to cause problems. Once is usually enough.
Anyway, so Miguel goes and stabs these folks and gets hit with four felony charges. Two attempted murder, one aggravated mayhem and one assault with a deadly weapon. He does what just about any of us would do in a situation like that.
He ran.
But now, thirteen years later, he's been caught. In Colorado Springs. For pissing on the wall of a Kentucky Fried Chicken.
After seeing him painting the outside wall of their establishment with a hazy shade of yellow, workers at a KFC called Colorado Springs police, who promptly picked him up. Would have been fine. He gave a fake name after all. FAKE NAMES ALWAYS WORK. As long as they don't fingerprint you. Which, of course, they did, leading to their uncovering that he had a warrant out for his arrest.
WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO WHEN A MAN ON THE LAM CAN BE BETRAYED BY HIS OWN FRICTION RIDGES?
Good thing they don't need any DNA evidence for this one. "Hey, Bob, whatcha doin' today?" "Gotta go scrape that wall for a PCR test. Hope no hobos have been in that alley tainting the evidence."
Guy's looking at 10-20 years and possibly a life sentence because of poor bladder control. I see a new Depends ad campaign on the horizon.
