Sep 022013
 
Paperback 691: Beacon B731X (PBO, 1964)

Title: Tutor From Lesbos
Author: A.P. Williams
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $55

BeacB731X

Best thing about this cover:
  • OK, Lesson One: how to sit in a chair.
  • In order of awesome: sunglasses, butterfly chair, wig, sweater set.
  • I'm imagining the frugal parents who are excited about this ad. "'No charge'! What a deal!"

BeacB731Xbc

Best things about this back cover:
  • The question we've all been asking all our lives.
  • "Love" quote unquote hahaha. Oh, Ginny, Ginny, who can I turn to ...?
  • "Consider the emotions of..." Well, that's a new angle.
  • "Feel the despair of..." Ditto.
  • So the dad *watches*? Gross/hot.
  • LOL uncontrollably at the last four sentences on this back cover.

Page 123~

[Hamilton] [...] worked at his desk until lunchtime, when he walked into several downtown shops and finally purchased an ugly gray fedora and a pair of sunglasses. These would render him inconspicuous, he figured, and enable him to blend in with the other drinkers at the lesbian bar. He had heard that dark glasses were worn as a badge by the city's questionable element.

Finally I understand why lesbians are constantly hitting on me every time I put on a fedora and sunglasses. Thank you, "Tutor From Lesbos"—aptly, you have taught me so much. Also, I would join a gang / club / sleaze appreciation society called "The Questionable Element."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
Aug 302013
 
Paperback 689: Saber Books SA-88 (PBO, 1964)

Title: The Left Hand of Satan
Author: Mark Lucas
Cover artist: Uncredited (he did a *lot* of late Sabers...) [Bill Edwards]

Yours for: $30

Sab88

Best things about this cover:
  • The only thing that explains the hilariously amateurish quality of this painting, with its complete disdain for perspective (how tall *is* that man?!), is that it was painted by the left hand of Satan, and Satan is right-handed.
  • Don't look too long at that headboard—it will confuse you and while you are thus addled Satan will steal your soul (presumably with his left hand).
  • Nick is not a plausible mate for anyone, let alone either of those ladies. 
  • "I finished painting your hallway ultra-bright yellow, ma'am, I just ... oh, excuse me, ma'am, I didn't know you had company. I'll go clean your gutters now. OK? OK." [backs out slowly].
  • This is post-Sanford Aday Saber. Instead of interesting, politically-minded, sexually-provocative sleaze, we now just get sleaze for sleaze's sake, i.e. dull porn. Seriously, his publishing empire went Hilariously downhill after his obscenity conviction. 

Sab88bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • "Ordained minister"—so you know this shit is going to be Filthy.
  • How is anyone "born with unconventional standards"? Predilections, sure, I guess, but "standards?" Those can't be inborn. Those are culturally determined. This has been "Overthinking It," with Rex Parker. See you next week.
  • "The school of Lesbians and male homosexual students is growing"—Class Sizes Are Limited, So Enroll Now!
  • Never in a million years would *Aday* have published a book with this faux-moralizing judgmental crap on the back. He veered toward sympathy and understanding, where this ... ugh. "Your kids are in danger! Read this porn to find out how!"
  • Who green-lighted this back cover concept. "It'll have the color gradients of Fire!" "Will it be legib...?" "Shhhh .... FIRE!"
Page 123~
"This is what I was thinking about, when I was trying to go to sleep. How could I go to sleep when ever muzzle in my body was begging for you?" 
"The word is muscle, baby, and when I get started with you, you won't be able to say scat,"Nick said, taking her into his arms.
Ever muzzle in my gut wants to say scat to this guy.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
Aug 242013
 
Paperback 686: Ballantine Books U2220 (PBO, 1964)

Title: No Limits
Editor: Joseph W. Ferman
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $8

BallU2220

Best things about this cover:
  • OK, it's not scintillating or sexy, but it's got a preposterous, "Jetsons"-like quality to it that I like.
  • Remember when the future was going to be Awesome!? This cover does.
  • I like how some of these bridges make sense (with arched, actual bridge-like structure) and others look like loopy whimsical structures that would snap in a strong wind.
  • I used to have a Leigh Brackett obsession. I may have it again. She wrote a lot, in a lot of genres, and a lot of it very, very good.  But, with apologies to Asimov fans, Sturgeon is the greatest name on this list.

BallU2220bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • "Acidulous"! Be still my heart.
  • I wish I were named "Robert Conquest." I feel as if, with that name, I could do anything.
  • The decorative band in the middle of this back cover is odd and pretty.

Page 123~

from "And Then She Found Him" by Algis Budrys

"I'm sorry, Frank," Deerbush said. He stepped back, holding one of Vi's wrists now, and with the other hand he hit Stannard hard on the jaw. As Stannard fell down, Vi began to scream.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
Apr 062012
 
Paperback 516: Macfadden Capitol Hill SP 1 (21st ptg, 1964)

Title: The Conscience of a Conservative
Author: Senator Barry Goldwater
Cover artist: Photo cover

Yours for: $25

MFSP1.Conservative
Best things about this cover:

  • Barry Goldwater cares not about your desire to see scantily-clad women and poorly-written taglines! 
  • One of the most important books in the history of American conservatism. This edition was published in January of the year Goldwater ran for president. It's in phenomenal, barely- or unread shape. (some scuffing on back)
  • I think MacFadden Books created their "Capitol Hill" book line just for this book (note the number: SP1)


MFSP1bc.Conserv

Best things about this back cover:

  • Well, I'll give him one thing: as back covers go, it doesn't get much more Conservative than this.

Page 123~ (*this* should be Hot...)
We may not make foreign peoples love us (no nation has ever succeeded in that) but we can make them respect us.
"Dad, they're Canadian, and I'm sure they'll return your barbecue tongs if you just ask. Jeez."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
Mar 312012
 
Paperback 513: Nite-Time Books (???) 3001 (PBO, 1964)

Title: Flying High  
Author: Eve Linkletter
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: Not for Sale (gift to the collection from Doug Peterson)


NT3001.FlyingHigh

Best things about this cover:
  • About the unsexiest naked lady I've ever seen on one of these covers. It's like she rolled around in charcoal. The GIGANTIC smirking floating head isn't making things any sexier.
  • She's got a vaguely Bettie Page look, but nothing of Page's charm or allure. First you're gonna have to clean her off. Then give her context. then maybe a slightly less art-school-modely position. Then take a bat to that bloated piñata hovering over her left shoulder.
  • That dude's hat is jiffy popping past captain's hat toward chef's toque.
  • This is the lowest-rent paperback publisher I've ever seen. I actually don't know what the publisher's name is. GSN??? NT (Nite-Time)??? The publication page says "Fitz Publications." I think it's homemade / Canadian.


NT3001bc.FlyingHigh

Best things about this back cover:
  • Yeah, that's how you usually spell "Bob."
  • "... a doll who turned out to be one of the boys..." OK, now I'm intrigued.
  • Semicolon? Really? Come on. That just hurts.
  • Eve Linkletter wrote some queer (in both senses of the word) stuff for Fabian or Saber or one of those cheap Fresno outfits run by Sanford Aday in the late '50s / early '60s. I've never seen her name elsewhere. 

Page 123~

The bar was almost deserted except for about nine people.

So ... not deserted at all. Gotcha.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

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